4 Ways to Share the Holiday
How Thanksgiving, school breaks, and regular parenting schedules can fit together.
Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that can get a little tricky when you're working with a co-parenting schedule.
Some parents already have a Thanksgiving schedule spelled out in their parenting agreement. Others are figuring out what works best for their family.
One of the first things I recommend looking at is the school calendar. Some children have the entire week off, while others don't start their break until Wednesday. That can make a big difference in how you plan the holiday.
Here are four options worth considering.
1. Divide a Full Thanksgiving School Break
If your children are out of school from the Friday before Thanksgiving until the following Monday, you have a nice opportunity to divide the break.
One arrangement I see frequently is:
Parent A has Friday after school through Wednesday morning.
Parent B has Wednesday morning through Monday when school resumes.
That's five overnights for each parent, and it gives both parents a chance to travel, visit family, or plan something special with the children.
The parent who has Thanksgiving Day can alternate each year.
2. Give the Holiday Parent the Shorter Break
If school doesn't let out until Wednesday, it may make more sense to give the parent who has Thanksgiving the entire break, from Wednesday through Monday morning.
This avoids dividing a relatively short school break and allows the children to enjoy the holiday without an additional exchange.
It also gives the children time to settle in, enjoy Thanksgiving traditions, and spend the long weekend with family without interrupting their holiday plans.
3. Watch Out for Three Weekends in a Row
Here's something that can be easy to miss when you're planning Thanksgiving.
Depending on how the holiday falls within your regular parenting rotation, one parent can end up with three weekends in a row.
That may not be what either parent intended.
An option I often suggest is giving the other parent the weekend immediately before or after Thanksgiving. That can help balance the weekends without making the holiday schedule unnecessarily complicated.
It's a good example of why I always like to look at the surrounding calendar, not just Thanksgiving Day itself.
4. Consider Celebrating Together
I'll share something personal here. My favorite way to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family has been to spend the holiday together.
For families who enjoy one another's company and feel comfortable sharing the day, it can be a lovely option. Everyone gets to participate in the traditions, and the children get to spend the holiday with both parents.
Of course, this doesn't work for every family. What works for your family is the best choice.
A Little Planning Now Can Save Confusion Later
One thing I've learned from years of preparing parenting calendars is that the more clearly holiday arrangements are spelled out, the easier they are to follow year after year.
Whether parents are working with attorneys or putting together their own mutually agreed schedule, there are a few details worth discussing in advance:
Who has Thanksgiving in odd and even years?
Does Thanksgiving mean just the holiday itself or the entire school break?
What are the exact start and end times, and where will exchanges take place?
Does the regular parenting rotation resume afterward, and how will surrounding weekends be handled?
Will Thanksgiving and Christmas alternate between parents?
These may seem like small details, but they can make a big difference when it's time to put the schedule on an actual calendar.
And that's really the point. A little thought ahead of time can make future holidays much easier to plan.
At The Co-Parent Calendar Concierge, I help families see how their regular parenting schedules, holidays, and school breaks fit together on one clear calendar, so everyone knows what to expect.
The Co-Parent Calendar Concierge provides calendaring and organizational services only, not legal advice or interpretation of parenting agreements or court orders.